I saw a T-shirt today that got me thinking. The T-shirt read: “I’m sorry I’m late. I really didn’t want to come.”

This got me thinking about all of the women and men who are trying to get pregnant and will be going to holiday get-togethers (yesterday included). Lots of children will be running around and well-meaning relatives will ask hurtful questions like “when are you going to make your mom a grandmother?” Between politics and pregnancy questions, gatherings could feel like minefields.

What should you do? I vote for taking care of yourself.

If you feel like you can’t skip the gathering, show up late and leave early. If you have a partner, plan beforehand, how you’ll let the other know it’s time to leave (such as 2 coughs, or a squeeze of the hand means “I’m done. I gotta get out of here”). If you know that Christmas or New Year’s Eve will be the most difficult for you, plan a short getaway and tell family and friends that you need a break from routine.

Once you’ve stepped into the world of needing help getting pregnant, it’s really important to take care of yourself. Hopefully, your journey will be short. But if it’s not, you will need your strength and resiliency to make your way to your goal.